DMV

I'm sure as you saw the title of this post you can suspect that this post is an unpleasant one. I had expectations that going to the DMV was going to be an easy thing. Why wouldn't the government create a system that would be easy for all of us? Ha. Everything was going easy, filling papers out (4 different forms) driver's licenses, 2 cars to register. Ok, this is going to be easy. The first bump of frustration, "um, sir is this birth certificate yours?" "Yes." "Is this a copy or an original?" (I should have said original.) I think she got scared, she saw Arabic, French, English writings all over it, with other Arabic writings. Maybe the security should put me through a metal detector. "Sir, I need an original." (Thought in head: yeah well let me call the Saudi Monarch and have him issue me an original one, thanks.) "Sir, do you have a passport?" "Yes. Bring that in?" "Yes, sir." (Thought in head: why did you tell me to bring my birth certificate in?) Tamar gets her driver's license because she was born in the great state of CA. So then we waited, while Tamar gets her driver's license, me not allowed with my passport. Interestingly, our marriage certificate is there as evidence-our Social Security number is on the application. But nope I need my passport. Ok, fine.

This was the kicker. I'm registering the cars, the cars were officially delivered on June 2. Today is June 30. I'm passed the 20 days rule in registering the cars in CA, now I have to pay penalties. So I asked the lady (another lady processing applications), "I could have lied and told you the cars came June 15 and it would have been fine, without the penalties?" "Yes, sir." "So, let me get this straight if I had written on this application June 15, than 2nd, it wouldn't have cost me $400 for my car and $229 for my wife's car?" "Yes, sir." (thought in head: wow, that's a great system we have). The picture above is what I wanted to do. Cars have to be checked for smog and I have to return to show the smog certificate--let's hope these cars have no issues.

They gave me the California Driver Handbook before this whole process began. A little too late now. The picture above is what I wanted to do. I think this time when I return to go through another painful process of getting my license done, I will show up with my Saudi scarf on. The picture above is what I wanted to do. Ok, now I feel better.

Lord, this ain't easy living truthful in a world where people get away with all kinds of lies. Now I can concentrate on getting some real Kingdom work done. Thanks for reading. The picture above is what I wanted to do, but I didn't. Or else you have heard about it in the news, some bald Armenian Pastor gunning down DMV people because of penalties.

271,560 hrs.

I figured this picture would capture your attention.

Now on to more serious matters. I can't help, but I feel bad for Job, and his dialogue with his friends make me wonder. This question cut deep: "How many wrongs and sins have I committed? Show me my offense and my sin." In the context he wants to know why God has brought all these troubles on him. So his plea was to know what his wrongs were to understand why. But the question got me thinking. What if I asked to see my offenses, my sins? Oh gosh, I don't think I would be able to withstand just one day. And here I go through every day like it's nothing. The thoughts are "oh yeah, I was good today!" I bet God chuckled at that. I can just imagine in my 271,560 hrs of life, the list of sins I've committed. Wow. Stomach is churning and turning with disgust just trying to write this post. I couldn't even get passed reading and understanding the rest of chapter, those questions just gutted me.

Yes, I know what grace and the cross have done for me. I shouldn't have any guilt from what has happened, because my gracious, gracious, gracious, gracious, gracious Lord covered it. Yup, I should be fine if what happened to Job happens to me. 271,000 hrs is a long time. Granted some of that is sleeping, some of those hours I had no idea what I was doing. It amazes me how God's word cuts deep. It amazes how I go through my day never thinking twice about my sins. "Pshhhh, my Lord forgave me already."

You wouldn't think that that cute kid above could be possible of being dishonoring, disrespectful, and deceitful. Lord, the word thanks does not suffice.

I want to be like Job.

Job in the Bible is complicated. I would venture to say it's as complicated as Revelation. It's a frustrating book to read through. Obviously your heart goes out to Job. God is portrayed as the "god who just stands on the sideline" and lets evil go to work. Just reading the first two chapters I'm sitting on Job's sidelines and cheering for him: "You can do this!" Ironic, because the first minute trouble comes my way, where's the easiest way out? I only read through chapter 5 and it sucks. I've read it in the past, however it's amazing when you read God's word, and then read it several months or maybe year later how much more is revealed. We feel bad for Job. While reading I'm not happy at God. Then again the author of life, creator of this universe has every right to do what He wants, what's my happiness at Him have anything to do with it? Who am I to question God for his motives? Maybe Job's rubbing off.

Eliphaz says something interesting in chapter 4 about the wicked. My concern is not about the wicked, but what God can do: "at the breath of God they [wicked] are destroyed; at the blast of His anger they perish. The lions may roar and growl, yet the teeth of the great lions are broken. " Related to yesterday's post, it's amazing to read what God can actually do with a single breath. Wow. His holiness is not just this amazing, loving, gracious God, but the God with a single breath can declare me dust. We rarely talk about God in this manner. Too frightening, too fundamental, not what society wants from Him. "We want love and peace, man!" It seems to me, we're heading into a direction where our views/demands of God is the way we want God to be like. Period. If I don't get my desired goal/thing/prayer request, God is then something of a jeenie in a lamp, that we tell him to go away. Then pick Him up, rub the side of piety to get Him to appear again. I may groan and tremble like Job while reading these next 42 chapters, but imagine what I may come to know.

Photo: Job's face, woodcut by Sevak Karabachian.

To be holy or not to be? That is the question.

Dictionary defines holiness as the state of being holy. Usually given to one that is a Pope or a Patriarch. Interesting. This is the word that's on my mind for the passed three weeks. I need the ability to see the amount of work something will entail before I volunteer to do it. Too late for that now. The Holiness of God: playing with fire is Camp Arev's theme this year. It may seem very simple to talk about. Holiness of God is what makes God God. Interesting, because you know if I was asked to describe God, holy wouldn't have been my first word. Or let alone in high school, I wasn't thinking about God's holiness, and why should I care about it? All I was thinking about was the girl across the room or making sure the girls would see my great skills in soccer or dancing.

So the task of thinking like a high schooler and building a bridge to the holiness of God is a task that can only get done with prayer. Amazingly thinking about this topic more, I can see why the camp committee has chosen such a topic. Because going back to my initial thought of who God is, I would have said gracious. But that's exactly the point with holiness, usually we think we deserve the grace provided at the cross. We don't normally think about what we've done to undeservedly receive that grace. "Yeah, it's free get some forgiveness here!" We just want to be forgiven, forgetting what God is capable of doing to us, if we never repent and ask to be forgiven. But God being a just and loving God, has to get some justice done for the sins we've done and is still loving enough to provide that salvation. If God is perfect and just, then He has to punish us for sin. The question is do we realize that we've sinned?

The picture above is from my ordination. It's funny because at that stage in life, four years this September, I thought I knew everything. Some people in the Armenian community would bow before me, or look for a ring to kiss. A holy man because of some robe, how easy it is to be considered holy.

Questions to ponder as I prepare for these talks:

What makes something holy?

Why should a high schooler care about God's holiness?

Why should I care for that matter?

Off the top of my head, I think the camp committee really wants to install a fear/reverence into the next generation of viewing God as holy. Because we rarely look at God as, "if I don't follow what He says, then I'm burned." We naturally hope and know that if I don't follow what God says, I'll just ask for forgiveness later, and we'll be all squared away. Uzzah wasn't thinking that and look what happened to him.

jump this.

Day 2 of p90x is pylometrics, otherwise jump training. Yup, an hour of jumping and doing squats. Not pleasant. Anything right now to distract me from doing that would be great. Or anything to distract me from prep work as I start at FAPC in July=)

I've occasionally thought of several things I want to do before I "kick the bucket." And I've written about them in the past. As I looked over my list, they're not tangible, because let's be honest I need a lot of money to do some of those things. Tamar and I have been thinking about buying a house, which causes that bucket list to get smaller and smaller. The money spent on going to a World Cup, could be used to buy a new fridge, washer, dryer, and a new TV. A week spent in Tahiti is one fourth of a down payment for a house. What are some things that I want to do, which do NOT require a lot of money? Some goals that are more feasible to achieve. Here's an updated list (not in any order):

learn to restore a classic car (doesn't have to be mine)

learn to play the guitar

fish on a regular basis

go hunting

do some regular hiking (being a city person for so many years, this one will be interesting)

sketch/create some furniture

write a book (after Tamar writes hers:-)

drive up the PCH from Los Angeles to Seattle (for the sole purpose of taking pics)

selling some of my photos for ministry purposes

being part of God's kingdom work everyday

reading 3 books a month

Let's see if the discipline of p90x will help accomplish some of these goals. I guess its time to get jumping.

210 lbs.

June 20 marks the first day of hell beginning again. This will be the 3rd time I would have started p90x. First two times, I got to the 5th and 4th week, but with moving and not being somewhere consistently, it broke up my routine. The problem with my metabolism is when I start working out I will consume double the amount of food. But I'm glad there are a couple of guys starting today as well. Costco trip scheduled for later to help with the lifestyle change in food intake. Hardest will be to cut the sweet stuff out. Chocolate, how I love thee!

I need to do this. I hate sitting and the stomach rolls over the belt. Let's not even talk about the double chin. One of the reasons why I love looking through the lens, rather than being photographed. (yeah, very self-conscious) I think this will help with discipline, which will affect all aspects of my life: discipline in reading God's word and praying, discipline in blogging, discipline in reading books, discipline in time management, discipline in eating right, etc.

So here's one small step from 210 and aiming for 185. I can't stand Tony, the guy who's like 46 in the DVDs and has arms, legs, and abs like he's been doing it for 46 yrs. (Thanks Gyorgi and Raz! Let's do this!)

Bring it!

Endurance.

I often get nostalgic. Parents coming in July is not going to help. Not that I don't want them to visit. It will be tough. We're trying to adjust here, and as my parents come, all our memories of being in Jersey, etc will be at the forefront of my mind. If I don't cry, laugh, it may seem like I'm being insensitive. But I'm trying to adjust here. Pictures on the computer don't help. Every time the background of the desktop changes, or I scroll through some pictures; the worse is when I receive texts with pictures of my niece and nephew in soccer jerseys of my favorite team. The worse is hearing Mom constantly crying on the phone.

Being a man (strong and expressing no emotion), having moved several times, I thought this would be easy. Yup, time to accept the reality that I'm 3,000 miles away from the people that I've known the longest. (Adele's album of heartache and beautiful voice is not helping this nostalgia now. Seriously isn't there anything else to sing about?)

I think not being in a regularly routine is not helping. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks that will change. Till then 2 Corinthians will help (not that I'm suffering like any of the people or the Apostle Paul did during the Early Church times): "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort." Yup today looking forward to the end result of patient endurance. I'll take that through these tears.

Filter

Recently, someone asked me about this picture. It reminded me of my art history class, when our professor forced us to remember everything there was about each slide during the lecture. Balzac was a French author who lived during Auguste Rodin's time. Rodin most famously known for "the Thinker." Today I feel a little like Balzac. Looking off into the distance and thinking. What we will never know. But staring at the picture long enough, I started to do the same. Maybe I should have found a picture of the Thinker. Then again, that pose almost seems too forced for the act of thinking.

It's pretty quite this morning. I've always been a journal guy. Read some Scripture and then turn some of my horrible English grammar into scribbles on paper. I'm sensing more and more what if instead of wasting trees, I wasted pixel space and turned my honest thoughts, questions, confessions onto this blog? Would it be too much? When we're around people, Tam thinks I should filter more. This medium wouldn't have any. Would it be too much for people (3 followers...lol) to read what really goes on in the head of a man? Should Pastors filter? We're human too and um, yeah I'm pretty sure we commit sins everyday. But I guess we lose some respect or see the "leader" in a different light when we hear of this sin and that sin. Really?

It seems to me, society is becoming more acceptable of the "right" to speak or share our minds. It can be without tact, it can be sugar coated, or "it's all said in love man!" This filter is pretty clogged up with gunk that needs cleaning every day. No wonder the journal is "for my eyes only." What good will a box of journals do? Unless I become some famous person and they want to know more about me, all those journals will just be beneficial to start a great fire. Maybe it's time to daily waste pixel space. Who knows someone on this vast world wide web may be challenged to look off into the distance after reading such a grammatical nightmare, and may recognize that it's time for a filter change.